sleepless in cavite

I know I should already be ashamed of myself because of some of the entries I post here. These written words may prove how 'romantically hopeless' I am. But these are the unspoken feelings and thoughts that I want to say yet are really hard to express , especially verbally. Here I have time to think of the right words to describe everything. Here I won't be afraid to go on and tell my story.

For nights the things that are keeping me awake 'til around 2am are these: tsunami, snow, paper grocery bags, snow, tsunami, paper grocery bags, tsunami, paper grocery bags and snow. You see, I can only imagine Seattle. Those are the only things that take me there. What I have are those and those that are in my memory.

Those are the things I recently saw on tv that I associate with the place where you are now. In fact, it is already an improvement that I am already watching tv. For the first few weeks, watching tv and reading were too boring for me.

Only driving, mountain climbing and playing soccer make me go back to reality.

Tomorrow we will be having a send-off get together for the Chem Eng Dyan who will be leaving on the 16th for Japan. When I heard that she will also be leaving it is as if I'll be losing my sanity. She was the who made me realize the brighter side of absence and now she will also go away.

Yesterday, we checked the house where we will be moving in. My father already made the initial payment. We are currently busy with completing the requirements for Penpen and Gio's transfer to a school in Manila.

Well, sometimes people should leave us.

Sometimes we should leave other people.

But everything will be okay.

All pictures were in Cavite.
The second and last pictures were taken using a camera phone.

this is not google earth

Alex Baluyut once said that the most difficult pictures you'll take are your first 1000. I haven't clicked a thousand times but here are some of my firsts. Took these pictures while I was in an airplane bound to Bohol summer 2005.

Though I am not really sure of the islands. According to my dad, they are probably part of Cebu.

Teacher Ate

On nursery rhyme...
Gio: (Incomprehensible sound)...twas a farmer whohada duck...
Ate: dog!
Gio: and DINGO was his name-o
Ate: BINGO!
Gio: E-I-N-G-O!
Ate:....

On counting...
Ate: O bilangin mo yan. One...
Gio: Zero muna.
Ate: One muna.
Gio: Zero muna kc ung nasa ref zero muna.
Ate: Pero pag nagbibilang one muna kaya nga two kasi one, two.
Gio (starts counting): Zero, one, two...thirty-nine, thirty...fourty-nine, thirty...eighty-nine, thirty
(The ate corrects him everytime, nevertheless).

On math...
Ate: Gio, one plus one?
Gio(puts out his two pointing fingers): One plus one... equals zero!

On spelling...
Ate: Gio, alam mo ba spelling ng dog?
Gio(nods) : D...anung sunod?
Ate: O
Gio: D-O-I-U!
Ate: E cat?
Gio: C...Ate, SHOES alam ko!
Ate: Tlaga?! Cge shoes.
Gio: H-O-I-U-R-U
Ate(silently thinking): H-O-I-U-R-U...HO-I-U-RU
************************************************************************************
I could really be mistaken to be Gio's mother. I was was the one who enrolled him for nursery, put on his sash when he won as runner-up in the Mr. UN contest, attended his Christmas party, accepted his award during his recognition day. And I was his chaperone during the first Field Trip of his life. You see, my parents are really busy. That is, busier than a medicine student. But these instances were really...mmm...amazing(?).

Included in the itinerary of their trip was a puppet show. In the middle of the show, I allowed him to sit with the other kids on the side of the stage. Like any other typical stories for kids there was a villain. At the moment the villain demonstrated his evil acts toward the protagonist, my brother ran towards the center of the stage, hit the villain several times with all his might and kaboom! he became part of the show. He was declared as a hero. During these times I didn't know if I should get my brother out of stage or take pictures of him with the other characters. I preferred to do the latter.

After these events a parent approached me and said, "Ang galing naman ng anak mo!" Napangiti lang ako.

After two weeks, my mom managed to show up in my brother's school for the first time to drop him off.
Teacher: A...kayo ho ba ang lola?
Mami ko: A hindi ho. Ako ho ang tunay na mommy.

Kung Ikaw Sya

Kung ikaw ay lalaki at napadaan ka sa blog na 'to at alam mong ikaw ang tinutukoy ng mga ilan sa mga nakasulat dito, anong magiging reaksyon mo?

Hay, sana talaga may sumagot sa tanong ko.

Mount Malipuno

I am still very grateful to Ighie for inviting me to this climb. I think I will always be. Yun nga lang hindi nya pa rin alam ang dahilan. A clue would be my shoutout in friendster. Super thanks talaga sa Green Mountain Tribe sa pagsama at pagpapasensya sa akin dahil ang bagal ko.

Konting pics lang pero unahan ko na kayo. I'm not YET a good photographer. And for me to be one, your comments would be valuable.

The truth is I've got frail hands. I still can't use my own sphygmomanometer because I can't pump to even 100 mmHg through its one year old rubber bulb. I didn't even reach the the top of the wall I tried climbing because I already felt hand muscle weakness halfway. But the first manifestation that I am already tired is that my footing becomes really unstable. I slip. I lose balance. Also my peak expiratory flow rate is low, as low as those who have asthma. I felt I have weak lungs during a fun run six years ago. What happened there is consistent with every moderate physical activity I've been to including this climb.

Sa kabila ng lahat, kung meron akong masasamahan, every weekend akong aakyat ng bundok. Because, knowing the little chance of hearing from you and seeing you again, the only thing that makes me smile is doing the things that you love to do.

i am afraid of the time i'll miss you

If I could write my thoughts in emails or cards to give you confidence and strength to carry on each day and if I could just send what's inside my heart into a package to comfort you through the cold night, I definitely would. It is just that I do not know if it would be of help because I do not know if it would mean something to you as it is special to me. Sometimes in great desperation I hope I am one of the people you've been with, the same people who made you wanna stay here. Sometimes I wonder of the things that currently make you busy. Sometimes I really want to know if you are okay.

Many times I just feel helpless.

I want to remember you

Ten thirty pa natapos ang exam ko kanina pero habang sinusulat ko to nakauniform pa rin ako. Sobrang maliwanag ang araw sa side ng upuan ko kanina sa bus pero wala akong naramdamang init (Note: Around 1pm ako nagbabyahe kanina). Pakiramdam ko limang oras akong iniwan ng utak ko simula kaninang alas onse. Kahit na ganon wala akong pakialam dahil masaya ako sa naging sanhi noon. Isa pa, hindi ko naman sya masyadong kailangan noong mga sandaling yon.

I want to remember every detail of it so I am blogging it. I want to remember the time you stood up and how much I appreciated it. I want to remember the time you offered a hug and asked me if it's ok even though you know I want it and I need it. I want to remember your sensitivity to my consciousness. The moment you went away from the sight of the crowd so that I wouldn't be too shy to embrace you. I want to remember how you hugged me. And though, it breaks my heart every time I think about it, I want to remember every tear you wiped and every sniff you made. I want to remember the first and last time na hinatid mo kahit hanggang escalator lang. I want to remember every 'ba-bye.'

I want to remember every thing of today because tomorrow there will be nothing to remember.

Revolver’s Top Local Albums of 2006

Opinyon lang to ng sumulat...

1. Up Dharma Down, Fragmented (Terno).

2. Queso, Queso (self-produced).

3. Sound, Blue Monsoon (self-produced). --> dalawa sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako di naniniwala: under EMI ang album na to at kakarelease lang nung second week ng dec 2006. at natalo nya ang typecast at juan pablo? pero ok to! hooohooo!

4. Sugarfree, Tala-Arawan (EMI).

5. Dong Abay, Flipino (self-produced).

6. Chillitees, Extra Rice (soundminds/EMI).

7. The Dawn, Tulad Ng Dati (Warner)/Rivermaya, Isang Ugat, Isang Dugo (Viva).

8. Sleepyheads, (Don’t Let Our) Tuneless Moaning (Go to Waste).

****special mention****Narda, Discotillion ( Edouards Village). Anyone who knows this writer personally might laugh and throw garbage at me when they read this and accuse me of conflict of interest, but heck, find me any sensible listener who will tell you that this is an awful one. From an objective point of view this is where I would have put it because this album brings the different elements that make two important rock genres of the 80’s – new wave and punk – fun, fun, fun.

9. Outerhope, Strangely Paired (self-produced).

10. Kjwan, 2StepMarv (Barnyard).

11. AMPON, Dekoding Rhythm (AMPON).

12. Salindiwa, One (self-produced). .

13. Cog, Conflagration (Tower of Doom)/Plane Divides the Sky, Campaign to Capture (Tower of Doom).

14. Faspitch, The Future of Ear Repair (Lighter).

15. Nimbus9, Philippine Phenom (Turbulence).

16. Endofcontracts, Radio Edito (Edouards Village).

17. Bob Aves, Translating the Gongs (Tao).

18. Various Artists, Mga Awit ng Mandaragat (Independent). A superior songwriter (Joey Ayala) interpreted by an even superior list of performers (Cooky Chua, Cynthia Alexander, Noel Cabangon, Kevin Roy, etc) to create a concept album paying tribute to the fisherfolk and the sea.

19. The Pin-Up Girls, All Seats Are Taken (Sutton). .

20. Juan Pablo Dream, Souled Up! (Terno).

21. Kamikazee, Maharot (Universal).

22. Chicosci, Chicosci (self-produced/MCA)/Typecast, Every Moss and Cobweb (FMAP).

23. Imago, Blush (Universal)/Sandwich, Five to the Floor (EMI).

24. Gary Valenciano, Relevance (Genessis/Universal).

25. Skies of Ember, Endless Swoon (Dissonance).

26. Sitti, Café Bossa (Warner)/Sitti, Live! (Warner).

27. Various Artists, Songs from the Other Side – Music from & Inspired by Ang Pamana – The Inheritance (Song Stream).

28. Silverfilter, Interpreter: The Remixes (Vanilla Crush).

29. Noel Cabangon, Ang Himig Nating Pag-Ibig (Ballyhoo).

30. Color It Red, Color It Red (Harmony/Alpha).

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